Author: cooljinzo

Hire me: taylorssstewart@gmail.com

My sandwich #1

Hovis “Seed Sensations Original Seven Seeds” bread with mayo, wholegrain mustard, branston pickle, pepperoni, salami, provolone & cheddar. Left it cold and blobbed tapatio on it. Washed down with water no juice left. This sandwich was amazing

SCORE: 10 out of 10 ★★★★★

My new poem:

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks, 
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge, 
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs, 
And towards our distant rest began to trudge. 
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots, 
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind; 
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots 
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind. 
Gas! GAS! Quick, boys!—An ecstasy of fumbling 
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time, 
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling 
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime.—
Dim through the misty panes and thick green light, 
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning. 
In all my dreams before my helpless sight, 
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning. 
If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace 
Behind the wagon that we flung him in, 
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face, 
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin; 
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood 
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs, 
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud 
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,— 
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest 
To children ardent for some desperate glory, 
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est 
Oppa Gangnam style!

Remembering “The Cone!”©…

The Cone has been fucked yet again by Microsoft. They have stripped it to its bare arse and kicked the shit out of it – and then some. I have tried tirelessly to keep The Cone alive, from countless reboots to a new direction (different style of comedy, different font etc.) but to no avail. The Cone is fucked for life and it’s dead as can be. But today we can remember The Cone for all the good it has done. The laughs, the tears, and the down right breakdowns. The Cone has been there for all of it. And its only fitting that we say goodbye the only way we at cooljinzo.com know how: With a song.

Goodbye, The Cone. We will miss you…

“The Cone!”© 2017

“The Chief & The Doctor” by Taylor Stewart

Chapter 1: A Meeting of Extraordinary Men
Thunder booms: Bang. Bang bang bang. Crunch! Bang bang bang!


Lightning strikes: Crack! Crakakakaka! Kachshhh!


There is a hellish thunderstorm in progress, & The Doctor is caught at the eye of the storm. The TARDIS is going haywire and spinning like a maniac. “Calm down!” pleads The Doctor to the TARDIS. “You’ve dealt with much worse than a silly little thunderstorm, what’s spooked you this time!?” he continues. The TARDIS erupts flames from the GPS monitors as though it is crying. “I’m sorry.” says The Doctor, respectfully. “It’s going to be alright.” he follows, calmly. He then uses his sonic screwdriver to reverse the polarity of the explosion, causing it to cease & undoing most of the damage. He is then able to regain full control of the TARDIS and avert disaster. He lands at the closest place he can find: An odd ring-shaped planet, which seemingly appeared from nowhere, as if out of a dream. “I’ve seen planets surrounded by rings before, but never a planet that was a ring!” says the doctor. “Now I’ve seen it all!” he continues. “Wait here!” The Doctor says to his TARDIS. “I won’t be long…”

Chapter 2: An Unlikely Friendship
The Doctor has been wandering for an hour or so, and he comes across a downed aircraft. He ventures close, sonic screwdriver at hand in case there’s trouble, and he approaches with caution. There is a rustling from within the ship. “Hello?” he yells. “Anybody in here?” he continues. The rustling stops dead as soon as he speaks. There is an eerie silence. The silence scares The Doctor, but he stays brave. “Hellooo..?” he continues. There is a huge clanging noise and it gets louder. Suddenly a green figure bursts from the downed aircraft and towards The Doctor. It’s the Master Chief. Chief holds up his dual wielded SMG’s to The Doctor’s head. “Who are you and what do you want?” demands the Chief.


“I’m The Doctor. The Eleventh Doctor to be precise. I’m an ancient Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, and I’ve just arrived on this planet in my TARDIS, which is parked roughly an hour’s walk from here.” says The Doctor. “Doctor eh?” asks The Chief. “Doctor Who?” he continues. “That’s a bit of a loaded question, mate.” says The Doctor. “While we’re playing 20 questions though, who are you?” asks The Doctor. “I am Spartan 117. I am the Master Chief. You can call me by my full name of John or you can call me The Chief.” says The Chief. “A man of many titles, I like it!” says The Doctor. “Thanks.” says The Chief. “Where are you from, Chief?” asks The Doctor. “This is my home planet. It’s called Halo. It’s one of 5 ring-shaped planets in this part of the solar system. The planets are home to all sorts of wonderful creations and creatures, old & new. The planets names are Glimmer, Timepiece, The Federation, Racer & of course, Halo, where we are now. “That’s beautiful” says The Doctor. “Thanks” says The Chief, “I’m free all day, if you have time I could give you a tour of Halo. What do you say?” asks The Chief. “Oh, I’ve got time.” says The Doctor. “I’ve got all the time in the world!” he laughs. The Master Chief laughs too and pats The Doctor in the back. “Nice!” says The Chief. “Looks like we’re forming an unlikely friendship.” he continues.


Chapter 3: A Walk In The Woods
The Chief & The Doctor walk through the woods. They have been walking for a little while, getting to know each other on the walk. “Tell me about your past” says The Doctor. “Where do I begin?” says The Chief. “I was born in 2511 on the human colony world of Eridanus II. At this time, myself and other selected children were covertly taken from their homes and conscripted by the Factions of Halo United Nations Space Command (UNSC) into the SPARTAN-II Project. The military and the SPARTAN-II Project’s lead, Doctor Catherine Halsey, believed humanity would fall into interstellar civil war without the creation of supersoldiers—the Spartans. I proved a natural leader and led my fellow trainees over eight years of grueling training and dangerous physical augmentation. Though me and the Spartans would battle human insurgents, a new threat emerged: the Covenant, a collective of alien races determined to exterminate humanity. Though the Spartans prove a tremendous weapon against the Covenant, they were too few to turn the tide in the UNSC’s favor.” says The Chief. “What about you?” he asks. “Well, here’s my deal: I am not from Earth, I am a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey. The Time Lords were considered to be one of the oldest and most powerful races in the universe. Sometime in the future the Time Lords went to war against the Daleks and lost, I am the only known survivor. Over time I learnt to trust other people. I also saw humans ability to block out certain things they refused to believe in.” says The Doctor. “Looks like we’re getting to know each other pretty well, really quickly too.” says The Master Chief. “I thought so too,” said The Doctor. “Until I noticed that AI chip in the back of your neck…” says The Doctor, suspiciously.


The Doctor points his screwdriver at the back of The Chief’s helmet. “Ok… ok…” says the chief. “Let me explain.” he continues. The Chief raises his hands to show he means no harm. “This… this is cortana” says The Chief. “Cortana is my ex wife, who I’m still friends with. She is an AI unit created by my boss Catherine. We fell in love on the first day on the job. We divorced about 10 years ago, but we have remained really close friends and have really barely fought since.” he continues. “That’s cool. Glad you could remain friends.” says The Doctor. “Thanks.” says The Chief. Cortana rises to the same size as The Chief and puts her arm around him. “You big sweetheart!” she says. “I drive this guy nuts, he’s just too polite to say!” she continues. “You don’t drive me nuts.” says The Chief, sternly. “Why don’t I leave you fellas alone for a while, huh?” says Cortana to The Chief & The Doctor. “Sounds good. We can talk about dude stuff.” says The Chief. The Doctor gives Chief a high five.


Cortana walks away and The Chief pulls The Doctor out of sight. “I’m still in love with Cortana.” says The Chief. “But first things first: I have to teach you my secret handshake.” he continues. “I love a good secret handshake. It’s like a hidden friend code that only you and your friends know about. A way to bond and remember the times shared. How do we do this?” says The Doctor. “Right so first thing’s first: It’s a simple high five, followed by a quick handshake, you then seperate and do rock paper scissors (best of 3) and whoever wins makes a pistol shape with their hands and shoots the other persons feet like a cowboy. The person getting their feet shot will dance as though trying to dodge bullets. The end of the handshake is when the person with the gun finger blows on the guns nozzle!'”. says The Chief. “Sounds simple enough!” says The Doctor. “Let’s try it out!” he continues. “Ok! 3 2 1 go!” says The Chief. They do the handshake, and The Doctor wins the rock paper scissors best of 3, meaning he earns the gun. He is overjoyed and performs the rest of the handshake with a massive feeling of passion. “Well done! You hit it out of the park, dude.” says The Chief. The Doctor knew deep in his heart that The Chief let him win the rock paper scissors best of 3, and he really appreciated it. “Now,” says The Doctor. “Back to you and Cortana. You still love her?” he continues. Just as The Chief goes to speak, there an explosion overhead. Fire falls down to the ground around them, burning the trees. The Doctor clicks his fingers and The TARDIS appears around them. They are safely within The TARDIS, and The Chief is dumbstruck. “What the hell!?” he says. “Where are we!?” he continues. “Welcome to the TARDIS”, says The Doctor. “It’s my Time Machine.” he continues. “Holy shit…” says The Chief.

Chapter 4: Shit Just Hit The Fan
“Time machine?!?” yelps The Chief. “You mean this thing also travels through time!?” he continues. “I did say I was a Time Lord, didn’t I?” says The Doctor. “OH my GOD!” says the chief, excitedly. “You said you have all the time in the world, right?” he continues, as a question. “Yep. As much time as you could ever need.” says The Doctor. “Can we go on an adventure?” asks The Chief. “Of course we can,” says The Doctor. “Just name the time & place, and we will be there quicker than you can say 123.” says The Doctor. “This is going to be EPIC!” says The Chief.


“10th of August 1996. Knebworth. Front of the queue to see Oasis in their prime.” says The Chief. “A man of good taste!” says The Doctor. Don’t you think you’ll stick out like a sore thumb in that big suit though?” asks The Doctor, concerned. “I’ll take it off. You got any 90’s style clothes I could borrow?” asks The Chief. “I have just the thing…” says The Doctor.


The Doctor & The Chief arrive at Knebworth to see Oasis. They emerge from the Tardis in full mod gear. The chief is done up exactly like Liam Gallagher, he looks amazing. They could be twins. “You and Liam could be twins!” exclaims The Doctor. “Thanks.” says The Chief. “I got this as part of my deal for becoming a Spartan. They gave me surgery to look however I wanted, and I chose to model myself after the king of britpop, Sir Liam Gallagher.” he continues. “I thought you would have been all scarred and torn to bits underneath that suit. I’m surprised by how good you look, your haircut is even fresh as a daisy!” exclaims The Doctor. “Here’s my secret: My suit gives me a fresh haircut every day. It has modern barber scissors inside it and they give me a haircut the moment it senses I’ve woken up from my sleep. And my skin is kept fresh by a hydration cooler within the cheeks and forehead of the helmet.” says The Chief. “That’s amazing!” says The Doctor. “You really look great bro.” he continues. “Thanks!” says The Chief.


The Chief & The Doctor arrive at the barricade, they have the perfect spot for the gig. The concert begins, and The Chief & The Doctor rock out to all of their favourite Oasis singles, B-sides & album tracks from the first few Oasis albums. They drink a few beers and they really feel the energy of the music. The concert ends and they do the secret handshake. They then hug and smile. “My surname is Gallagher!” says The Master Chief. “What!?” says The Doctor. “My secret last name. It’s Gallagher. I keep my surname a secret from everyone, but I think you’re my best friend. I can tell you. My surname is Gallagher.” says The Chief. “Like Noel & Liam from Oasis!?! That’s amazing!” says The Doctor. “It’s not a coincidence!” says The Chief, over the loud exit music. “I’m their son!” he exclaims, proudly. “WHAT!?!” asks The Doctor, shocked. “I’m the son of Liam & Noel Gallagher. They are my father! I was taken from them as a young boy, and never met them properly. I’m so glad you brought me to see them in their prime, I’m so proud of them, I’m proud to be their son, and I’m so grateful that you brought me here to see them.” says The Chief. “My pleasure bro!” says The Doctor. Let’s go to KFC – I fancy a zinger meal!” he continues. “I love a Wicked zinger meal from KFC. I’m feeling extra hungry, so let me tell you about my KFC trick!” says The Chief to The Doctor. “Every day feels like a school day with you, Johnny boy. And I mean that in a good way!” says The Doctor. “Haha!” says The Chief. “Ok, so the trick is: order the wicked zinger meal, and for my sides I get beans and gravy. I then order a 1 piece original recipe chicken snackbox, which comes with more fries than you would normally get with a meal, plus a big piece of original recipe chicken. You get so much more for only a few quid extra! This only really works if you like beans though I suppose, but I love beans. I get a can of tango as my drink.” says The Master Chief. “I love beans!” says The Doctor. “Sounds good.” he continues, finishing the conversation.

Chapter 5: Dinner Time
The Chief & The Doctor go to KFC. They both order the Wicked Zinger meal with beans & gravy & a can of Tango orange. On the side they order a 1 piece original recipe chicken snackbox, which comes with fries. They eat the meals and have a great chat. They eat a bite of the burger first, and then a bite of the burger dippped in the gravy. Then some fries. Then they eat a wing each. They then dip some fries in to the gravy and eat it, and then they dip some of the fries in to the beans and eat those too. They then eat some of the beans on their own with a fork. They take a few fork fulls. They then take a sip of Tango orange to wash down the food. They go back to the burger, and take a few bites. They have a bite of the burger, and then a handful of fries. They eat their second wing, partially dipped in gravy. They then move on to the piece of original recipe chicken. They eat this slowly, and they almost finish it, but they leave a few bites. They then finish the burger slowly, and then eat some more fries. They dip some of the fries in to the beans. They then eat some of the beans on their own again. They have another drink of tango, and they then move back to the fries. They then finish off the piece of original recipe chicken, before finishing the fries and beans completely. They top off the meal by finishing the can of Tango orange.

Chapter 6: Goodbyes Aren’t Forever
They leave KFC. They have just had one of the best days of their lives, and they’ve just eaten an amazing meal in KFC. “Well,” says The Doctor. “This is where we part ways.” he continues. “But… but we’ve only just begun our adventure!” says The Chief. “I’m sorry, Chief, but I have to go. There is a Time War taking place. And I have to put an end to it…” says The Doctor. “But you said the great Time War was over!” says the chief, confused. “It’s over, yes… but at the same time… It’s always ongoing. A war raging throughout time and space forever. Millions of casualties and no winner, except me, if you can even call me a winner. I don’t feel like a winner though. I feel like more of a loser.” says The Doctor. “I understand” says The Chief. The TARDIS takes The Master Chief back to his home planet, and drops him off with Cortana. Cortana runs up to him and says “I still love you!”. The Doctor smiles with a tear in his eye. “I love you too!” says The Chief. He and Cortana embrace, and kiss. The TARDIS fades away, and The Chief turns, looking at where it once was parked. A tear forms in his eye, and he says “I’ll miss you, Doctor…”

THE END

“Cutter’s Way” (1981) Review

“Cutter’s Way” is one of the best films I’ve seen in ages. Loved the whole thing. My only complaint… is that it had to end! Haha. I could have watched another hour or 2 in that same sitting probably. I would’ve loved if it was a telly programme I could sit and watch all of in 1 day. It has left me wanting more, which to me, is good.

I’ve given it a 98 on the Taylor-O-Meter. 98 for now is the best a film could possibly be without being a sci-fi film I’d say. I’m more into mad fantasy/supernatural/sci-fi stuff than I usually am “real life” stuff, but if this film had any sci-fi elements it would have taken away from it’s goodness, so I’m glad it didn’t. I’d say that was the perfect “real life” film. Absolutely class.

Below is the Taylor-O-Meter in it’s current state. I’m not including any films on it that I’ve already seen from memory, I’m simply adding films on as I watch them. The Matrix is my exception, as to me, “In Taylor’s Eyes”, it’s the best film I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen it like 50 times. The Matrix is “The Bar”, and “Cutter’s Way” has basically reached it. Magic!

The Doctor & Scooby Doo Are Trapped In Cyberspace! (Doctor Who/Scooby Doo Crossover Fan-Fiction by Taylor Stewart)

EPISODE 1: The Gang Finds The TARDIS

Scoob and the Gang are out on patrol. It’s the day after Halloween, and all the local kids are at school. The neighborhood is a mess because of all of the trick or treating that took place the night before. Candy wrappers litter the streets. The roads are caked in litter. Shaggy feels hungry, and requests that the gang take a trip to the local diner to grab some gammon, egg & chips. The diner is called “Danny’s One-Stop Burger Stop”.

“Zoinks!” exclaims Shaggy. “Have the prices sky-rocketed in here or what?!”
“Tell me about it!” agrees Fred. “This place used to be so cheap. Ever since the new owner took over, the prices have changed! It’s more expensive now!” He continued.
“Yeah!”, said Velma. “These prices have become way too high for me! It used to be a lot cheaper, from what I remember!”.
The gang look at the menu for a few more minutes, before continuing the conversation. “I don’t think it used to be this expensive in here guys, you’re right!” said Daphne. “The prices really have changed, and not in a good way!”

Scooby becomes agitated by the situation.

“These prices are just crazy! They must think we’re stupid! I’m not paying this much for gammon! It’s delicious, it’s true, but it’s not THAT delicious! This is honestly outrageous!” says Scooby. “I agree!” replies Shaggy. “I think it’s too expensive now!”

“Yeah, you got that right Shags! It’s beyond a joke, these prices are just too high.” adds Velma.

The new owner of the diner overhears their conversation, and comes over to give the gang a piece of his mind. “Listen to me you ungrateful brats! If it weren’t for me this place would have it’s windows boarded up and would be full of rats and dust. The old owner Lorenzo was a low-life good-for-nothing loser, he never had any respect for this community, and he especially didn’t have respect for any of you! Him winning the lottery and moving to Paris was the best thing that ever happened to this town, and now I’m doing the best I can to provide quality food for everyone! Yeah it’s a little more expensive, but so what? I use better ingredients and I like to make sure my staff are paid a fair wage. You know any other diners around these parts that pay $12.50 an hour? I don’t think so. Now get the hell out of here and don’t come back til you learn to show some respect to those who deserve it! Go on, beat it!”

“Zoinks!” says Shaggy.

The gang high-tails it out of the diner, full to the brim with regret for their actions. How could they have been so immature and spoiled? They feel pretty down in the dumps, and decide to go to Cosmic Bowl, a local bowling alley with a cool Sci-Fi theme. On the way to the bowling alley they see an old woman trying to fight off a robber. He manages to steal her handbag, and she screams for help. The gang chase after the robber, running as fast as they can. They reach a corner, and lose sight of the robber for just a few seconds. During this few seconds, they hear a loud screeching noise, unlike anything they’ve ever heard before. As it reaches its climax, the noise slowly fades away, and they turn the corner to see a big blue police box appear right in front of the robber. He trips and falls right through the front door of the police box, and the door slams shut behind him. There are a few seconds of silence, followed by what sounds like a very one-sided fist fight. The door quickly opens back up, and the robber falls out on to the pavement, stiff as a board. Standing behind him is an angry looking man, with a leather jacket and big ears. He smiles, but remains intimidating. speaks with a northern accent. “You kids didn’t see ANYTHING here, ok?” He says quietly.

“Zoinks!” says Shaggy. “w-w-where did you come from mister?!” “It’s not mister mate… it’s “Doctor” actually…” replies the mysterious man. “D-d-doctor who?!” replies Shaggy. “That’s classified info mate! Just call me The Doctor. I am a Time Lord, and I have two hearts. Now, on your way kids! Forget you saw me here…” says The Doctor.

Scooby wags his tail and begins to sniff around the big blue police box. “What’s this big blue box you have here?” asks Scooby. “This is my TARDIS. It stands for Time and Relative Dimension In Space… don’t be getting any ideas though! Clear off, you’re not allowed to be here!” snaps The Doctor. “Come on man just let us have a look around, we’re so bored! Our usual hang out spot has been taken over by a new guy, and we uh… let’s say we had a misunderstanding and kinda got on his bad side…” says Velma, to The Doctor. “And?!” snaps The Doctor. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have time for you kids and your stupid problems! I have galaxies to save, REAL problems to solve!”

The Doctor sneezes, and closes his eyes for a split second because of this. When he opens his eyes, the gang are nowhere to be seen. He turns around and sees that they have run inside the TARDIS and are looking at all the computer tech.

“Jesus Christ!” exclaims Shaggy. “This place is gigantic my man!” Shaggy spins around in amazement, as do the rest of the gang. “What IS this place?!” Asks Daphne, very politely. “It’s a time machine/space ship combo. I use it to get up to all sorts!” replies The Doctor. This gets Velma scratching her head…

“A TIME machine eh? This could come in handy Doctor… Are you free this afternoon?” asks Velma. “I’m free all the time Velma!” replies The Doctor… “I have all the time in the world!” He laughs as he gestures towards his time machine. The gang also laugh.

“OK – here’s the plan! We travel back in time to before Lorenzo, the guy who used to run the diner, put on his winning lottery ticket. We know that he did all his lottery stuff online… so if we could somehow access his computer on the day he picked those winning numbers, we could change them and prevent him from winning!” says Velma, excitedly. “Velma you’re a genius!” says The Doctor, excitedly. “Scooby dooby dooooo!” yells Scooby.

The Doctor doesn’t hesitate, and gets to work straight away. He boots up the TARDIS console and types in the time co-ordinates. He pulls back the lever and yells “Hold on… It’s gonna be a bumpy ride!” The TARDIS jumps into motion and off they go, flying through time and space. The gang have a good feeling about this…

The TARDIS lands. The doors slowly open, and the gang emerges. They peer out into what they expect to be the diner, but nothing can compare them for what they were really about to see…

Lines upon lines of digital computer code surround them. 1’s and 0’s everywhere they look. The Doctor puts his hand to his head and closes his eyes. He has made a grave mistake…

“Guys… don’t be mad but… I may have taken this deeper than we had originally planned to…” He says quietly. “How so?” asks Fred, who is worried. “I may have uh… I may have teleported us into his web browser… we’re in cyber-space now guys… And I can’t see the TARDIS anywhere…”

Scooby goes crazy and begins to bark like a maniac.

“Calm down Scoob! We’ll find a way out of this!” yells Shaggy. “We WILL find a way out of here, right Doctor?!” he adds.

Scooby bites shaggy and runs away. Shaggys arm is badly hurt, you can see the bone. His veins are burst and he is losing blood fast. “Scooby you crazy dog! What are you doing?!” Yells The Doctor. “I’m getting the hell away from you guys, this doctor is a Psycho and he’s going to get us killed! Woof woof woof! I’m just going to live out the rest of my days inside this PC and there’s nothing you guys can do to change my mind!” yells Scooby-Doo. “Please Scoob, you mean everything to me even though you have given me this fatal wound!” says Shaggy, who is now fading away. “Sorry Shaggy but this is where our friendship ends. You’ve ruined my life! Goodbye!”

Scooby runs off and climbs over a firewall, which closes behind him. The gang have no chance of ever seeing him again, and this upsets them greatly. “I’m so sorry about your dog…” says The Doctor. “We all loved him so much. He was our best friend and he made our life complete. Without him, there’s no point in going on…” says Fred. “Hmmm… I may be able to help you actually Fred… I’m nearing the end of my time in this body… but I can regenerate… I can change… it’s almost time to say goodbye to body number 9… and say hello to body number 10!” says The Doctor. “What are you talking about?” says Fred. “Stand back!” says The Doctor.

The Doctors hands glow a golden-orange colour, and they begin to emit a soft glow. There is a giant burst of light from his head and hands, and the ground begins to shake. The computers coding starts to corrupt, and wormholes open up everywhere around them. The Doctor begins to shrink, but before he does he yells “Quick! Jump into this wormhole!”  The gang do as he says, and dive into the wormhole, which takes them back to the diner. Nothing has changed, the new owner is still there, but it’s 5 minutes before they got into trouble the last time they were there. They’re still on his good side. “Hey, we may not have changed those lottery numbers, but at least we’re still on the new guys good side, eh guys?” says Velma. “Yeah you’re right!” says Fred. “Hey, where’s Shaggy?” he asks.

“He was left behind… he wasn’t going to make it, I saw the life leaving his eyes. I’m sorry Fred, there’s nothing we could have done to save him…” says Daphne. “I understand…” says Fred. “I’m going to miss him so much, I can’t believe he’s gone.” he continues. “Also, where’s The Doctor?!” says Fred. “Bark Bark! I’m down here!” replies The Doctor, who has regenerated into a German Shepherd.

“I regenerated into a German Sheherd so I could come on adventures with you guys! I know how much you loved Scoob, and it really sucks that he left you guys behind… but I can be better than Scoob! I have a time machine and a sonic screwdriver!” says The Doctor. “What’s a sonic screwdriver?!” Says Daphne. “It’s just this mad gadget I’ve got! Hey, come on, lets go get some gammon – I’m paying!” continues The Doctor.

“I’m gonna like having this guy around!” Says Fred. The gang laugh and one by one they pet The Doctor on the head in a loving & caring way, and welcome him into their big wacky family. “Hell yeah!” barks The Doctor. “I’m starving!”

THE END